So, let's get acquainted...I am a divorced, single mother of two boys (ages three and four). That sentence alone should justify the title of this blog given some of the things I've experienced as a parent of two young boys. However, life gets more interesting because I work in human services. It's been about 10 years and I am starting to realize the word "human" is relative. My boys and I live with my parents. In fact, I share a room with my boys (need I say more...). I'm a CrossFitter and I eat Paleo (I am going to use those two words loosely at this juncture). Hey, it's hard! Working full time, raising two boys, and taking care of myself are very time consuming. So what did I do? I got a boyfriend. And not any boyfriend...I got a boyfriend who works an opposite shift as me and has his child opposite weekends as me. One would think it really puts a monkey wrench in getting to know someone. However, I have realized, when the majority of the time you spend together involves juggling work, kids, meals, baths, bedtimes, etc; you REALLY get to know someone! Thank God he's a calm and patient man. Quite opposite of myself.
People often refer to me as direct. My mom has always said I "shoot straight from the hip". Unless you are Helen Keller, you know where you stand with me. I have (what used to be debilitating) ADD. However, considering the circumstances, I think I've come a long way and I am managing quite well. If you don't agree with me, ask my therapist. She's the professional and I trust her opinion more than yours.
As much as I enjoyed my weekend, I have realized I didn't make the Paleo meatballs I've been saying I was going to make for a week now. This means, I am going to throw away 3 pounds of meat and I won't have much to eat this week in the way of "healthy". If I don't make it ahead of time, I am screwed. I don't think it matters how good my intentions are. Intentions don't equal production. In my defense, I was helping my mom. She called me this afternoon (I stayed at my BF's) and asked me to come home and take her to the ER. She then told me to "take my time". The fact that my mom: A) asked for help and B) asked to go to the hospital, meant only one thing...she was dying. Actually, she cut herself and thought she needed stitches. Knowing my mom, it must have been really bad for her to do the previously stated things. I didn't ask any questions. I told her I'd be right there. No shower. No teeth brushed. No bra. I put on a pair of shorts and out the door I went. As I sped, tailgated, and tapped my fingers impatiently while stuck behind every Sunday driver and cyclist, all I could think of was how bad her injury must have been. I had visions of her being unconscious on the floor, bleeding profusely in the near 20 minutes it took me to get across town. So, I called the neighbor to check on her, but they weren't home. When I pulled in the driveway, she was sitting in a chair with a blood soaked paper towel in one hand and her wallet in the other. The first thing she said to me, "I tried to call you. I think I could have driven myself, but you didn't answer your phone". I didn't answer my phone because she called my office 3 times and even though my voicemail said, "you've reached the desk (I reiterate use of the word desk) of Abagail Henderson", it never dawned on her she called the wrong number. As we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, I said, "I hope they aren't crowded since it's a Sunday afternoon". Then I saw the full waiting room. Then I felt as if I had taken my mother to the circus and this was the freak show. I counted 3 people in neck braces and wheelchairs. However, they behaved as if nothing was wrong. One guy even had bloody gauze stuffed in his ear, but talked on his cell phone and got up and down out of his wheelchair as if he was just fine. One woman talked on her cell phone and read a magazine; the neck brace proved to be only a minor inconvenience. There was the apparent nuclear family with their 3 children and a Pomeranian. A very large woman, more obviously sans bra than myself with some strange caption on her ill fitted t-shirt. At least the interpretation of her shirt distracted my mother for a moment. However, her hearing isn't the best. So, she tends to make "discrete" talk about those around her less than discrete...A guy with one crutch who asked the guy with the bloody ear gauze (an apparent stranger) to watch his Mountain Dew while he talked to the triage nurse. A husband and wife in church clothes who looked vaguely familiar and unscathed. I think I went to high school with her, but I can't be sure. Much like I can't be sure why they were there in the first place. The list goes on...
After they got my mom into a room and determined she would need stitches, the dilemma came into play as to how she would get her diamond thumb ring off without pulling the chunk of skin with it.
They decided to put soap on it and while the nurse held the skin in place, my mom managed to slide the ring off. I sat in the chair not looking and felt mildly queasy. She dried her hands and handed me a wad of paper towels, which I proceeded to throw in the trash next to me (assuming that was why she handed it to me in the first place). About 5 minutes later, my mom asked me where her ring was because she had handed it to me. I had no idea what she was talking about. Turned out, it was in the wad of paper towels I had just thrown away. She neglected to give me that minor detail when she handed me the used paper towels in the first place. So, I had to glove up and dig through the trash. I am just thankful I hadn't thrown it in the bio hazard bin. Good news: I found the ring! The doctor got mom all stitched up and she was back to chopping vegetables when we returned home. She's not the most patient, patient (I come by that honest).
Given it's getting late and I intend on getting up at 5am to workout at 5:30am, I am going to have to sign off. However, stay tuned, as tomorrow I take BOTH boys to the doctor by myself. I've already assured my boss, even if I smell like alcohol, I've not been drinking...Tuesday, I'm going to judo class for the first time. Wednesday, I have a review at work to make sure I'm up to date on paperwork (have I mentioned my ADD?). Thursday doesn't seem too eventful at this moment. However, I have "Open house" on my calendar at 6pm and no clue what that is referring to, let alone where I'm supposed to be. Should be interesting...Friday is preschool open house (maybe THIS is the open house I referred to on Thursday) with my 4 year old, the ex, and now my mother. Seems like an eventful week already and that's only the shit I have scheduled. Stay tuned...
